Teach 'em a lesson
by legendslayer222
Summary: A training camp for Skaarj on the grounds of Harobed? Another crashed ISV ship? Quests to fetch angry Titans? Blimey, this'll be a laugh...
1. Introduction

_Just because I felt like writing it._

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"If you point that gun at me ONE MORE TIME, I swear I'm gonna rip incomprehensible parts off of your already splintering body!" Jeff yelled at Hamegn.

"Sorry, these days pointing a gun at anyone makes me feel a bit safer." Hamegn said defensively.

"Oh, yes, sure." Jeff said, rolling his eyes. "Our ship crashed in the outskirts of a Skaarj camp, three of us survived and we're all so LUCKY that we have a gun wielding maniac in our midst."

"At least he's not trigger happy." Quig said, not looking at them.

Quig was an optimist and tried to see the bright side of things. Jeff had a short fuse and snapped at things. Hamegn was a coward and ran away from things. The ISV Mishtiv had crashed on Na Pali at what was once Harobed village, but now a Skaarj training camp.

An energy wall separated the Mercenary establishment Terraniux from the camp, but there was no need to separate off the dark arena. That was under Skaarj control. The ship had crashed in the cliffs balanced above the abbey. Skaarj had taken away two bodies which had fallen from the wreckage so they knew what to expect. The only thing keeping the three surviving humans alive was that the Skaarj thought the ship was full of angry people.

Quig, one of the ship's mechanics, was pulling at the controls of an escape pod. It was broken, and had been for the last three days of their crash.

Jeff was a guard and Hamegn was co-pilot.


	2. Training Harder

_The 1__st__ chapter was written in 3__rd__ person because it was the introduction, but now I will subtly switch to diaries and mission logs._

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_Gurapk's Log, day 56 of the Garib New Year:_

They have decided I am ready to become a Skaarj. I mean, I'm already a Skaarj, but a proper _Skaarj_, not just someone who walks around in the Mothership Antechamber.

They brought me and 6 others, including my brother Gruy, to the Harobed training camp. The Nali huts are the student sleeping quarters and the Abbey is where the morning lecture happens. The grounds are where we do our intensive firearms training and such.

I think Ubroon is calling us for the lecture. Uh, I nearly fell asleep when he was nattering yesterday.

AH! Pins and needles in my feet! That's what you get for sitting down too long I suppose…

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_Gruy's Log, day 56 of the Garib New Year:_

This is the third day and Ubroon has already started thinking of impossible sounding tasks. We have one more Garib week (6 days) until he tells us what they are.

He also said training will double. I'm not sure how the hell he plans to make it any harder than it already is. Wait, what is that outside…

Training just got harder. *gulp*

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_Jeff's Log, 29__th__ of January:_

Quig still hasn't got that pile of crap escape pod working. And if he does, it'll be a tight squeeze as it's only meant to hold one person. Well, it's the one with the least damage, so we'll have to go with it.

Quig's personality always annoyed me back when this ship could still fly, and now his optimism feels even more annoying in this wreck. Optimistic cherry on the cake he is, he'll be what sends me to my grave with overdone insanity.

On another note, since yesterday, we have heard screams in the depths of deck 2. Maybe someone else is alive. Well obviously someone else is alive, or it'd be a ghost!

Ha, ha, ha, ghost… *trails off and kisses good luck charm*

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_Hamegn's Log, 29__th__ of January:_

They have set up some kind of assault course outside in the Abbey's grounds. I caught glimpses of the Skaarj on my Translator saying things like 'brought from the Velora Temple'. The course is lined with traps of all shapes and sizes, and already one weak skittish Skaarj has been gored. Well, hit with a sword then a volley of arrows then sliced directly in half and then into quarters and then minced and incinerated. Quig and me are heading off to deck 2 to see if we can identify the source of the screaming.

I'll write back when I can!

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_Quig's Log, 29__th__ of January:_

Hamegn is too paranoid. He pointed his Automag at everything we went past, including the Poseidon-style generator room and me. Eventually we clambered up an elevator shaft into deck 2, and now we've stopped for a breather.

The screams have stopped now. We hope whoever it was isn't dead, like these bodies slumped all around me.

There's Jordan's body, Lucy's body, oh god! Science Officer Armave! I hated that guy!! I'm just gonna' jump around on his body for a bit…

*Boing, Boing*

Where was I? Oh yeah, we're about to set off again. Oh, god, Hamegn didn't just eat 2 packets of rations!!! That greedy little son of a… Oh well, it could be worse, at least we have two packs left.

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_Gruy's Log, day 57 of the Garib New Year:_

I am about to brave the training run. If I die (likely, 2 Skaarj have already), Gurapk should know that I, I… hated the little Bugger he is.

Yeah, Gurapk!! You nicked my Skaarjbie and Ken beach set dolls!!!

The Velora temple at the Nagomi passage… I've heard of that place. Full of death traps. Well, I suppose most of 'em are here now.

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Gurapk's Log, day 57 of the Garib New Year:

That guy Gruy is crazy! Over the spikes, under the guillotine! I can't watch!

Oh wait, he made it, and he's alive as well.

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_Jeff's Log, 30__th__ of January:_

Yesterday Quig and Hamegn set off. And they're still not back. I should have gone with them. I should have gone with them.

I wouldn't mind much if the two we're crushed by the unstable bulk of this ship, but I need Quig to fix the escape pod. If he can. To be honest, the thought of being alone in this place with countless Skaarj out there is… scary? Worrying? Things a soldier like me shouldn't feel.

Oh look another Skaarj is braving the assault course. What does the translator say… It says he's called Gruy, according to the whimpering Skaarj in the audience, his so-called brother. I can't see how they can have _brothers_ when they are all born by the same Skaarj Queen.

I'll try and figure that out…

…No ideas came yet.


	3. Missions 4 All

_I haven't updated this in donkey's years, but now I've done a new chapter!_

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_Janett's Log, 30__th__ of January:_

After the ship crashed I woke up to find a bar of metal over one of my legs, trapping me. I've shouted myself hoarse and I think someone is finally coming for me. Yes, it sound's like Quig, the mechanic. And someone else… I think they were co-pilot. No, wait they're going past! Wait! WAIT! WAIT!!

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_Quig's Log, 30__th__ of January:_

Silence. I can't bear it. Someone just shouted- OW! - Hamegn, you bastard! You just shot me in the foot with your Automag! Don't deny it! I can show you the bullet hole!

Sorry, Hamegn jumped in fright when they shouted and left a nice hole in my left foot. Anyway, the shouting has paused again, although I know which room it's from. We nearly missed it! There is the person. Its guard Janett, but her right leg is crushed. Ouch.

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_Jeff's Log, 30__th__ of January:_

Three Skaarj have fallen to the demonic assault course. Although they said a week 'till assignments down there, I'm sure of they mentioned they were handing them out now.

Let's see if I can here what they are saying…

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_Garupk's Log, Day 58, Garib New Year:_

They are giving out our assignments really soon. I've been promoted to Skaarj Scout, and my brother Gruy to a Skaarj Berserker. I'm part of the team assigned to finding a new Titan for the Dark Arena after their last one died of flu, and my brother is part of the team investigating the crashed Terran ship. They figure that if it was full of an army of Terrans, they would have killed us already.

I think they know a good place to find a Titan. The Trench… They don't mean the one carved out by the ISV Kran? Its miles away!! OK, I must be tough. It has been months since I was just a Pupae. I'm a big boy now. Sort of… Oh, they're calling me for the mission. I've gotta go!

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_Gruy's Log, Day 58 of the Garib New Year:_

I'm a Skaarj Berserker. I mean, it's awesome! I'm twice the size of everyone else, and when one of my underlings asked if he could bring his childhood toy with us I was allowed to actually beat his face into the wall!

Terran ship, here I come!! What's it called? ISV Mishtiv? Who cares? Not me, I'm a Berserker! BER! SER! KEEEER!!! Muahahahahahahahahaa!

I think it's best if I shut up before I go insane.

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_Jeff's Log, 31__st__ of January:_

The Skaarj have been preparing to raid this ship. I know it. I found a Flak Cannon with 5 shots in a crate nearby, and in working condition. There was also a broken Stinger. There are 6 Skaarj Scouts, 2 Warriors, and a Berserker coming my way. They won't take me without a fight! I wonder where Hamegn and Quig are.

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_Hamegn's Log, 31__st__ of January:_

We had to cut away the mangled remains of Janett's leg, and it wasn't a pretty job. The sharpest tool we had was a bit of splintered metal.

And I thought it was hard going here with all the hazards, but now we must pass them again with a one legged person. Hey, we could steal the metal leg off of that _Treasure Island II _Advertisement model!

AH! What was that?! Oh, just a creaking board. Maybe this place is collapsing! Eek!

I'm running for my life! I don't care what Quig yells after me about needing help to support the one legged girl, the advertisement model is only two corridors away! I'm outta here!

Besides, we passed the model on the way here. I haven't passed it. Maybe this is the wrong direction…?

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_Quig's Log, 31__st__ of January:_

Hamegn just legged it like a bat outta hell, and he's heading in the wrong direction. At least we have just reached the advertisement model and are fitting the metal leg on Janett. That was great news, because she can be quite stubborn and I thought she was going to refuse to have it.

She says it is really a professional foot replacement, so she's OK with it. Lucky there were tools to apply it!

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_Garupk's Log, Day 59 of the Garib New Year:_

We are a large party of Skaarj (25 in total) and have a truck to hold the Titan, so I don't think safety will be an issue. We also can skip straight to Noork's Elbow, with no need to brave Terraniux. The commander of this trip, Huklo the Skaarj Lord, is making us head off right now. I'm on the sniper platform at the front of the truck. The leaders are in the cabin, the securing Skaarj are by the Titan cage, and the Guards are by the truck. Let's get going!


	4. Sneaking, Snatching & Smashing

_Garupk's Log, Day 61 of the Garib New Year:_

We reached Noork's Elbow, but were ambushed by a squadron of Mercenaries. They must have caught wind of our mission and sorted a planned attack. We lost Huklo to a Mercenary Elite, but he went down fighting at the doors of Terraniux. Because I was fighting boldly and slain two Mercs, combined with the fact I lived, they gave me a promotion to Skaarj Warrior.

The truck made it safely away, although this guy called mole-man got stuck in our wheels, and demanded to be taken to Springfield. Wherever that is. We turned him into a bobble-head and put him in the truck for safe keeping.

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_Gruy's Log, Day 61 of the Garib New Year:_

Here's the ship raid that took place 2 days ago in detail.

I sent one Skaarj Scout in. Two halves of a Skaarj Scout came back out, full of shrapnel. I sent in another Scout, this time with stealth. He came out with one Automag bullet in the shoulder, but nothing serious. He reported only sighting one Terran guard inside.

I laughed, and sent myself and the rest of the party inside. After a quick scuffle, the Terran was pinned to the floor. He emptied his Flak Cannon blowing apart two of the Scouts, and also mashed up one of the Warriors pretty badly with his Automag. We suffered no more casualties.

He is now crucified on the abbey wall, and all he will tell us is "There are plenty of Terrans further in on a recovery mission. About 24 in total, after the recovery there will be more."

I asked him why they had only left one guard, and he was silent. I will raid that place again with the remaining warrior and three Scouts from the last mission, also with the aid of a Skaarj Assassin, Yugill.

This will be tomorrow. The troops need to be healed first.

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_Hamegn's Log, 2__nd__ of February:_

I have been aimlessly crawling through the hull of this ship, and I have found an exterior bulkhead door. I need to get it open to escape.

I shouldn't have run away! I heard Gunfire earlier, and someone yelling who sounded like Jeff! Oh my god, What if they're all dead?! What if it's only me?!!?

I must calm down. Panic has got me nowhere so far. I need to rest. And get something to eat. Oh looks, a Sainsbury's bag. Full of food.

*num num num num*

That was a filling meal! I can carry on now.

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_Quig's Log, 2__nd__ of February:_

We got back to the main room too late. There are Skaarj bodies everywhere, and an empty Flak Cannon. I am sure they have taken Jeff. On a better note, there was a broken Stinger which I could easily fix. Full 200 ammunition, I can also say. Now were armed, there is only one thing I can say we do. Fix the escape pod, and find the other crew.

On the way back, I found some grease. This is perfect, because I can fix the escape pod in a matter of hours. I'd better get going!

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_Janett's Log, 2__nd__ of January:_

Quig has fixed the escape pod. Well, almost. He says it is very delicate work, and he needs concentration. I left him to it. I'm watching the slow learner Skaarj not already on missions try the assault course below. 6 have been killed so far. Quig has fixed the escape pod!

He says we need to rescue Jeff and Hamegn. I covered the escape pod with a sheet of metal so as to hide it in case any Skaarj came this way, and we are preparing to leave the ship.

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_Garupk's Log, Day 61 of the Garib New Year:_

We found this bridge that crossed the roof of the Vandora Temple, but it collapsed and we lost the truck. Gasbags dragged some more of us away, but I fought them off with brute strength and tactics. I have been promoted to Skaarj Assassin, with this new body armour suit thing which is itchy. I suppose I'll get used to it.

12 of the original crew of 25 made it to the other side of Vandora, and I'm 4th in command now. I think I can see the Trench. We will all sleep and eat to regain our strength.

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_Hamegn's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

I have forced open the bulkhead and am sitting on the top of the ship. I can even see the bit of loose rock where the ISV Mishtiv is clinging to the cliffs! Loose rock? What if the whole thing falls? I'll make my way across the huge metal top of this ship to the loose rocks and see if I can secure it…

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_Gruy's Log, Day 62 of the Garib New Year:_

I kept my eyes and ears to the Terran ship's main hanger doors last night. I heard voices. I think I saw a Terran female watching the assault course. Anyway, I dozed off and now it's the day of my grand invasion of the Mishtiv.

It's not so grand. When I came inside, there were no people. I sent Scouts through out the ship with radios but they have found nothing, and half the ship has already been searched. This place is empty. The Terrans must have abandoned ship… They can't have gone far! I'm calling off the search, and sending units out over Harobed and the Dark Arena.

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_Quig's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

We slipped out of the Mishtiv last night. I hope never to see that unstable hull again, but I know I must as it holds our escape pod. Janett and I are hiding in the tunnels that connect the Dark Arena to Harobed village. The Skaarj won't come towards us while we make our plans as they are to busy searching our ship. I think they are keeping Jeff in the chapel, but sadly there is going to be no hope of finding Hamegn after he ran off.

We will set off to the chapel during lunch break, when most of the Skaarj will remain in the huts.

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_Garupk's Log, Day 62 of the Garib New Year:_

The truck was found lying in the end of the Trench, and there was also a Titan. We saw it hammering on the side of the ISV Kran, an easy target to kill, but we had to weaken it first and then catch it.

We did a roundabout blasting it with laser bolts from our Raziks. It collected 14 blows before it realised who was attacking it, then it got mad and threw a boulder. Three of our remaining 12 were dashed to pieces by the immense force of the rock, and another one was winded badly and fell to the floor. The remaining 8 (which included me) circled it and herded the great lump into the truck. We lost another one in the process.

Now we are on the way back, I am a Skaarj Lord and 2nd in command. Yippee! I'm so going to rub it in Gruy's face when he sees my rank in the Skaarj!!

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_Jeff's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

Bad luck. All I get is more bloody bad luck. The nice things I've done in my life, all 12 of them, and still my bloody bad luck. Hey, someone's at the door… I don't believe it! Quig! And… Janett.

Not that bitch… Of all the people who could have lived through the crash, it had to be her. My bloody bad luck…

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_Janett's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

I remember when the ship was still flying and I made Jeff's life a hell. The good ol' days. He still hates me now.

Anyway, we went into the chapel at lunch as planned and freed Jeff, but this Skaarj came in so we ran up to the bell tower to try and avoid them. I heard him saying about 'needing to prepare because the Titan is coming' but then we were at the top. All that is up here is a bell and an announcement phone.

I wonder where Hamegn is.

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_Gruy's Log, Day 62 of the Garib New Year:_

The Titan is coming. I just saw Ubroon walking into the chapel. Oh, he's coming out again and yelling… The prisoner is free?! I secured that man perfectly!!

The other Terrans I saw on the ship must have freed him… We will need to do a quarantine of Harobed so as not to let them escape! To arms! To legs! To heads, shoulders, knees and toes!

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_Garupk's Log, Day 62 of the Garib New Year:_

Ah… The fresh fume filled air of Harobed… The burnt metal tinge of the spaceship… The delicious stink of Skaarj blood from the training run…

Actually the smells are all horrible, but At least I'm back in Harobed! Why are all those Skaarj running around? Quarentine?

Night has fallen, and I feel this will be a long night following it…


	5. Titans of all Shapes and Sizes

_This looks like it will be the final chapter…_

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_Janett's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

Night has fallen. The ship is guarded, Dark Arena is guarded, even the Terraniux forcefield is guarded. There is a large truck in the distance carrying a creature roaring mournfully, and there is a Skaarj, Ubroon I think he was called, going to the announcement tower. Wait… There is an announcement phone up with us in this bell tower. WE'RE IN THE ANNOUNCEMENY TOWER!!

The door has been flung open, Jeff's shooting at it with his Stinger, the fearsome Skaarj towers over us, Quig is yelling at me to stop recording and help out-- Oh yeah, I'm helping out!

***Wam!!***

I just knocked Ubroon off the tower, and he broke his neck on the floor below. Skaarj are looking up. We are in trouble now!

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_Garupk's Log, Day 62 of the Garib New Year:_

Ubroon is dead, and by random poll I was put in charge. I don't know what to do! There is only one possible crazy thing I can do…

Release the Titan!

The Titan is not such a good idea… It's wrecking this place. Catch the damn thing! Too late, it's angry and on a killing spree! What do I do?!

Oh yeah… RUN!

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_Quig's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

The Titan was enough of a distraction so we could escape the chapel. The Skaarj in charge, Garupk his name was, has legged it out over the way to Terraniux. He's through the forcefield and at the Water bit with the broken bridge. He's swimming for it… And he's being ripped to pieces by the Biterfish.

*crash bang*

That Titan boulder nearly hit me! Oh dear… The ladder that would lead up to the escape pod in the front of the ISV Mishtiv has been destroyed by the Titan. Now the only chance of getting to it is if the Mishtiv comes to us. Fat chance. Oh my god… Holy crap! It actually is coming to us!!

Janett! Jeff! Outta the way!

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_Hamegn's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

I just lightly prodded the join between the ship and the cliff and it broke. The Mishtiv is speeding towards the ground.

OHMYGODIMGONNADIEIMGONNADIEHELPMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!

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_Titan's Diary, I don't count Days:_

Smash ********* ******** Skaarj camp!!! Kill the ******* ******** Skaarj!!

Eh? The ****** ****** ********* Terran ship is ******* speeding towards me!!

Oh my *********** ************!!!!

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_Jeff's Log, 3__rd__ of February:_

The Mishtiv has parked not so neatly in front of us, and (unlucky for me) Hamegn fell of the roof. He's babbling like a baby and we had to drag him to the ships main doors.

The Titan was crushed by our wrecked ship, and now the Skaarj are working out what's going on. One's chasing us! He's a Skaarj Berserker I recognize as Gruy.

When Hamegn saw Gruy he pounded into the escape pod (I'm surprised the Skaarj couldn't find it earlier, Quig and Janett hid it really badly). Quig's being all chivalrous and letting Janett in first. Quig gets in… And I can't fit. This escape pod was meant only for one person, let alone four. Gruy is right behind me!

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_Garupk's Log, Day 62 of the Garib New Year:_

I pulled myself, nearly mauled to death, out of the water, and what do I see?

A dead Titan under a spaceship and my brother chasing the Terrans towards it.

I need to get there!

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(3rd person bit to end this tale)

Jeff blasted raw Tarydium from his stinger into Gruy, but he just knocked the weapon from his hand. Garupk, despite his damage, was running over to them fast, and the other Skaarj were regaining their senses.

"I know what I must do." Jeff said. "LAUNCH!"

"Not without you!" Quig said.

"I won't fit in there with all you!" Jeff growled, struggling with Gruy. "Just launch, you bastard!"

Quig hesitantly closed the door. Gruy grabbed hold of the escape pod, and stopped it from flying off.

"Oh no you don't!" Jeff said, pulling himself and Gruy behind the pod's thrusters. They were fried in seconds, and Gruy's crispy body let go of the pod, and it flew away.

The Skaarj shot Razik blasts up at the escape pod, but it was already too far way.

"He's gone." Garupk said, falling to his knees in front of what remained on Gruy. He was still locked in combat with Jeff. "He will be avenged!"

The Skaarj, trainee and new recruit alike, were all now waiting behind Garupk. He slowly turned around, the ashes from Gruy slipping through his fingers. He was still leader. "We will avenge the fallen." Garupk said. And roared an inhuman noise into the night. The others all joined in, the sound making bits of the already crumbling abbey fall away.

_To be continued…_

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_Hmm. I may or may not right a sequel to this. It depends on the popularity of this story… Please review._


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